I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
