i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
