You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
