did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
