It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize