it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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