Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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