then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
God, I missed his penis.
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