apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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