so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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