I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize