do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
