You made me cry and you don't even care
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize