I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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