The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize