and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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