He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
