whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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