I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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