Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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