My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
