Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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