$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
