I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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