Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Who did Billy Mays play for?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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