If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
