OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
