as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
tell me about the eggs
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
