happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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