it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
