Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
