i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
