similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
