problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
