i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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