defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
