6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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