We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
