your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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