Well douche your snatch and let's go!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
