so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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