you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
