and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
