the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
