Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
