White coat. Heels.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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