I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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