forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize