At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
