The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
