Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize