Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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