apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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