i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
