I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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