so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
