I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just want nice things and good sex
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
