Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
