I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
