I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Panties = found
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
