you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
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