I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
