i barfeds in our rink
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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