i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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