Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
