and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
