You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
