we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
