ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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