You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
