Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
