ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
