i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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