So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
