Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
