I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
