he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
